“Before this experience I was nervous, my often lost timid nature was overshadowing the confidence I had grown over the last few years of my life. I struggled to conceptualize my own sexuality, body image and general attitude of who I thought I was. To fully understand oneself is not a feat I have completely conquered yet. Nevertheless, I believed in Jenn’s convictions and her fearlessness in being more forthcoming with the things I have often felt insecure or ashamed about; I knew I had to push myself.
By the day of the fitting I knew that I wanted my harness to embody the assertiveness of my personality and the masculinity I felt but often let lay dormant. The desire to have a tie be the main focus of Jenn’s work embodied these elements I wished to convey more proudly, in her work and on my own. When I was fitted and she skillfully built my harness on my body I could see our separate but yet shared visions coming together, and I began to feel more at ease.
The night before the shoot I laid sleepless on a friends couch, thinking of how I was going to present myself and how that would represent my character. Like music from another room, the person who I am floated in the air and I recognized her.
Every moment of my life I have wished to play a part, to put on the garb and become a character. I am theatrical, serious, playful, haunted, nostalgic, conscience-stricken, driven and joyful. As I slept I dreams of the performers I have been lucky enough to bare witness to, and their full commitment to becoming another. I would in turn become more of myself without fear of judgment, that is the woman you see here today."
NICKEL SILVER HARNESS AND CREATIVE DIRECTION BY JENNIFER LAU
PHOTOGRAPHY BY SARAH ARTICE